Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Another Epidemic and Another List

Greetings Friends,

Just when you think you've identified all degrees of social ineptitude in existence, another one rears its ugly head. 

Selfishness is nothing new, but degrees of it never cease to astound me. I've been ignoring this particular scourge, but I am now ready to throw my hat into the ring. Selfishness has to be the worst personality trait there is; it can be a hard one to recognize and acknowledge. We are all guilty of it at one point or another, and those of us who manage to control our selfish impulses deserve accolades for our feats of strength. Few people manage to pull it off, nor do many of them give a damn if they are perceived as selfish. 

I like the list above, but my selfish nature is telling me to make one of my own. After all, it's my blog dammit, and I can be as selfish as I want:

Nava's Top Unforgivable Acts of Selfishness:

1. Lacking empathy. Let's remember that empathy differs greatly from sympathy. You never know if or when a similar set of unfortunate circumstances could befall you. 

2. Bloviating about yourself and your problems and then asking about the person on whom you are unloading as an afterthought. Enough about me; what do YOU think of me?

3. Treating another person harshly/disrespectfully in order to draw attention to yourself. The "poor me" tack only works if you're about five, have blonde ringlets, blue eyes, and big pouty lips. If that's not you, don't even try it. 

4. Assuming someone will pay for something significant without even an offer of reimbursement. This goes beyond not buying a round or picking up the cheque. If a friend asks you to "pick something up" for him or her, and there is never an offer of repayment, the writing is very clearly on the wall. 

5.  Assuming that everything in everyone else's lives has something to do with you. Attempting to impose yourself on others when you think they need or want your assistance is just plain wrong. If it's a touchy situation like an illness or death, make a polite offer and wait until you are asked. The "Mighty Mouse" approach of "Here I come to save the day" disguises an alarming level of selfishness and self-gratification. 

6. Getting angry at others when they cannot help you. If you find yourself in dire straits and a good friend is for whatever reason, not able to offer assistance, the offer of friendship should be enough. 

7. Attempting to inflict your beliefs/habits/opinions on others. Just because YOU think something is de rigueur doesn't mean the rest of the world has to. Enjoy whatever it is and allow everyone else to form their own opinions. 

8. Refusing to be happy for your friends and loved ones when something good happens. This is absolutely the pinnacle of selfishness. 

Bonus Round:

Pouting when you are not the centre of attention. If you're in a room full of people and you feel that you are not being given the proper amount of attention, go have your pity party someplace else; like in the basement. 

Making unkind or hurtful remarks without realizing you've hurt someone's feelings. If your mother never told you "silence is golden", then you deserve the silence you get when the offended party stops speaking to you.

Being a chronic "wheel spinner". If you can't ever get your shit together, don't hire a professional organizer; find a shrink PDQ.


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