I'd successfully avoided watching more than a few snippets of American Idol up until the 10th season premier the other night. Part of me was morbidly curious about the deluded minions who actually think they can be the next American Idol. My curiosity was stanched after only one episode, despite the fact that Aerosmith has been one of my favourite bands throughout my life, and Steven Tyler as a judge could have been worth his weight in snickers and guffaws. You know who I think would have been a good candidate for a judge? Gene Simmons. Had it been him, I would have been stuck like a pig in the mud. Much as I've always loved Aerosmith, Gene Simmons and KISS have been my obsession since the 5th grade. Think what you will...
I'm not disputing that American Idol has been phenomenally successful, and that it has produced some legitimately talented individuals. It's just not my cup of tea. I'm usually not one to avert my eyes from a train wreck, but for some reason, watching this show makes me feel as if I have thousands of black flies continuously ripping chunks of my flesh off my body. Seriously; it makes my skin crawl. It hearkens back to an earlier era, and a game show called The Gong Show, a few of you may recall: Three celebrities judged talent, and in the event a contestant sucked huge, they were gonged off the stage. Now that was much more my speed. There was no mistake about it - you sucked, and you left. None of this, well, OK, we'll schlep you out to L.A. and feed your delusions for a bit longer, then tear you down and send the pieces home for you to pick up for the rest of your life. There's a reason why so many of us will only sing in the shower.
Had I been watching all these years, I'd probably would have learned to appreciate the curmudgeonly ways of Simon Cowell. Initial reaction to the latest incarnation of the judging panel has been "kinder" and "gentler", along with outrage at Steven Tyler's mild flirtation with some of the younger contestants. Aerosmith could have opened a lingerie warehouse will all the bras and panties that have been tossed on stage during their concerts. I witnessed said tossing a couple of times over the years. For Tyler, this is just another type of stage. Simon Cowell made a fortune by bitch-slapping whoever would let him, so I really don't get why everyone is so shocked. Then again, I don't get American Idol, period. I believe it is too late for me to join the party. Eventually, all good things must come to an end, and it looks like we need to have to defibrillators on standby.
To all of you who will hang on every minute of every episode, I applaud you. I will keep my spot on the periphery and stick with the snippets. May the best crooner win.
Enjoy your weekend.