Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A Leap of Faith
I know; it's been forever (6 months, actually), and I've returned from hiatus to wish you all a Happy New Year.
Much has happened during the time I've been absent from this space, and there's no need to bore you with the details. Work has been status quo, but there have been some things going on that have taken me down roads I didn't foresee myself travelling on at this particular point in time. I'm still sans wheels, but these metaphorical travels of mine have been an interesting journey nevertheless. Sometimes, those are the best kind to take; you don't necessarily have to get on a plane or behind the wheel of a car to go somewhere that inspires you, particularly if that journey involves a leap of faith.
What is a leap of faith exactly? There are many definitions in the zeitgeist, but they don't particularly interest me. I'm more interested in what it means to me personally. I've taken many leaps of faith over the course of my life - the most recent ones were relocating here to Toronto and starting my own business. Those were leaps I was glad to take, and even though the going has been rough at times, I consider them successful. The chain of events they triggered has brought me to a new precipice, where I am currently standing poised to take yet another leap. This one, however, is a bit different. It doesn't involve a relocation or a business deal, it involves something riskier and closer to a life-giving force that is strong but infinitely fragile. It performs a necessary task that keeps each one of us going day after day, but if you allow certain things to get too close to it, it will shatter into a million pieces. You can give it to someone or even something, but you have to be sure you know what you're doing before you blindly hand it over. That's the tough part; entrusting it to another entity leaves you vulnerable, and scared.
The tricky thing about this latest leap of faith is that I'm not certain if the life-giving force is strong enough to handle so much as a hairline crack. It's been shattered and still not in a place I would consider strong. As a matter of fact, it's looking and feeling a bit like a beat-up pair of sneakers or that old clunker that still gets you from point A to point B with relatively little trouble. But, in the back of your mind you're constantly wondering when it will breathe its last breath and leave you stranded somewhere. When that happens, no amount of mechanical genius or duct tape will save it; you'll have to leave it on the side of the road and move on. Unfortunately, you can't do that with what I'm talking about, so you have to stare into that precipice and decide if the leap is worth taking.
At this very moment, I'm pretty confident the leap I am contemplating will be worth it. You can never be one hundred percent certain, but let's just say I am more than halfway there. And the journey has just begun.